Forbear and Forgive

by Myra Shealy

Sometimes the irritating things that others do can seem so hard to live with. In a single day we are faced with many quirky, sometimes maddening, often thoughtless, and beyond that intentionally unkind things perpetrated against us by the people God has put in our lives. It is easy to become worn out by these things, and to begin to keep a record of wrongs. And if the conflict comes when I am trying to minister to someone and even sacrifice to help them, then their sins begin to feel as irritating as sand blown into my eyes, or a pebble in my shoe that grows with every step I take.

But as I've meditated on Colossians chapter 3, verse 13 has been especially helpful. It says, "bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone." Here is a clear prescription for dealing with those who sin against us. Christ calls us to forbear and forgive. That means putting up with all those irritations and further, direct acts of unkindness, and forgiving the ones who do those things. That is what true, unconditional love chooses to do.

When my heart needs motivation to do this, I focus on the very next phrase, "just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." For me, nothing shrinks the irritating sins of others down to size like being reminded of my own sins. I stand before the Lord each day as a debtor who owed a debt that was too great to ever be repaid. But because the One I owed is merciful, He Himself paid my debt for me and forgave it all. Keeping my eyes on the cross, and the mercy I received that I didn't deserve, helps me love and give grace to those around me, whether they deserve it or not.

I daily need the change that focusing on the Gospel brings to my own heart. His grace given to me shrinks the boulders in my shoe back down to pebble size.

Reciting the Victories of the Gospel

by Myra Shealy
In the 2003 printing of John Piper's Christian classic, Desiring God, he wrote an updated preface. The entire book is dedicated to his father, William Solomon Hottle Piper, and John Piper addresses him directly in the last paragraph:

"Finally, a word to my father. The dedicatory words I wrote in 1986 are still true seventeen years later. I look back through forty-five years and see mother at the dinner table, laughing so hard that the tears ran down her face. She was a very happy woman. But especially when you came home on Monday. You had been gone two weeks. Or sometimes three or four. She would glow on Monday mornings when you were coming home. At the diner table that night (these were the happiest of times in my memory) we would hear about the victories of the gospel. Surely it is more exciting to be the son of an evangelist than to sit with knights and warriors..."

What a statement! John Piper thought that being the son of an evangelist was more exciting than keeping company with knights and warriors. And why? There was something about his father coming home and reciting the true stories of Jesus conquering hearts with the Gospel, that impacted him as a young boy. His parents obviously got excited about such things. This was something they valued. His dad, as a traveling evangelist, was giving his life to preaching the Gospel, and his mom, characterized as a happy woman, wanted to hear those stories, and rejoice with her husband over what God was doing. Looking back on his childhood, John Piper remembered those times around the dinner table as his happiest memories.

This little scene that John Piper described reminded me of the opportunity that we have as parents to influence our children by our lives of ministry and our attitudes about it. In this case, he was influenced by the example set by his parents of Gospel work, and the natural conversation that flowed out of their delight in what God was doing. How simple! Our children are listening, and they are taking notes on the things that we give our lives to, and get excited about. We must be intentional in telling them about the wonderful things that Christ is doing in our own hearts and in our ministries! We need to also make sure we are strong in our trust and rest in God's great sovereignty when ministry is difficult. Negative, complaining, and despairing talk around our dinner tables also have an impact when little ears are listening. Let our words, actions, and attitudes show that we serve a mighty Savior, who has graciously put us into His service, and it is a privilege for which we are grateful.

How fitting that the little boy around the Piper's dinner table, listening with great interest to the victories of the Gospel, grew up to be a passionate preacher and writer, who has greatly influenced people around the world to treasure Christ above everything else.

I'll be thinking of that when we sit down for our next meal together.