Training Children for the Long Haul

by Myra Shealy

Years ago, when we only had small children, I remember complaining to my husband after a particularly rough day. My entire day had been spent dealing with our children's disobedience and I was worn out and frustrated. He listened patiently, then put his arm around me and congratulated me for spending my day wisely! Then he reminded me that we were in this for the long haul, and to be patient and not give up.

When the Bible says "train" up a child, we need to make sure we realize what train means. It means practicing over and over against resistance until something becomes part of your nature. That is what God is calling us to do with our children. It will not be accomplished in a day, or a month, or a year, but is something you must engage in until your children leave your home and enter the adult world. Now, it is reasonable to long to see some fruit from your labors before they leave, but just keep in mind that it is a long process. I know that many times today, even after many years of being a mom, I still feel overwhelmed and exhausted and discouraged, but now I am enjoying fruit in my older children that the Lord is producing in their lives, and I wouldn't trade that for any less stressful, or more restful, or irritation-free life. It is worth everything we go through!

Also, remember why we do what we do. We are giving our lives away to train and love these children all day long because it is what God commands us to do, not because of the fruit we see in their lives. I've had some moms say that they gave up on training their kids because it didn't work. But the Lord doesn't give us that out. We are to keep on obeying Him and leave the fruit production in His hands. He will grant fruit whenever He deems best, and we have to continue on in faith and trust Him. Work as if it all depends on you, but PRAY for your children, remembering that ultimately it all depends on His work in their hearts. You have every reason to expect fruit, though, because He says that His Word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish His purpose. (Isaiah 55:11) Keep giving your children His Word, and keep striving to obey it yourself. God doesn't usually give a divine zap out of nowhere to change the hearts of people. He uses His Word, and people who bring His Word to needy hearts. He wants to use you.

Let's say you are faithful to this task until your children reach adulthood, and then they openly rebel and reject everything you have tried to impart to them. Was it still the right thing to do? I say absolutely YES! You will have a clear conscience that you tried to obey the Lord, and you will have gained great sanctification along the way. Also your children will have been given the keys to abundant life here and eternal life afterward. Keep pressing on!