Fighting for Joy in Ministry

by Myra Shealy
There are some unique challenges that come with being married to a man devoted to full-time ministry. Maybe you have experienced some of these:

The workload and burdens of ministry are often great, and we may feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The resistance/conflict with the objects of our ministry and our ministry partners can sometimes be draining. Our godly counsel may be ignored by those we are trying to help, and they instead make decisions that have serious negative consequences. We lack wisdom to help our people straighten out the mess that sin has made in their lives. Plus we have our own set of problems with sin and weakness, the struggles with relationships in our own families, and trials that come into our lives.

Sometimes we are tempted to respond to those pressures in a wrong way. In our pride, we operate in our own strength. We neglect the means of grace that God intended for our strength in Him, (the word, fellowship, prayer). We forget that we have a personal enemy roaming about seeking our destruction. We forget to arm ourselves for spiritual battle. We forget there even is a battle and that we are already in it. We look back at the past and complain. We look forward to the future and worry. We may even begin to blame others or punish those around us for our discouragement and struggle.

These challenges, and our wrong responses to all the dificulties of life and ministry, can strip us of our joy in Christ.

Our Problem

What is at the heart of our struggle?

Listen to the words of Hebrews 3:13: “Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

While this passage primarily calls us to our responsibility toward other believers, notice how it sets unbelief as the opposite of being encouraged. To have a sinful, unbelieving heart can result in a hardened, deceived heart. How does unbelief manifest itself?

John Piper says, “…all sins come from unbelief in the promises of God. All the sinful states of our hearts are owing to unbelief in God's super-abounding willingness and ability to work for us in every situation of life so that everything turns out for our good. Anxiety …indifference, regret, covetousness, envy, lust, bitterness, impatience, despondency, pride—these are all sprouts from the root of unbelief in the promises of God.”

In our despair we choose to not believe His promises like:

2 Corinthians 12:8: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Matthew 28:20b: “...I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (speaking of basic needs like food, clothing, etc)

Isaiah 41:10: “'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

And, Isaiah 55:11: “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

My lack of joy usually shows me one other thing about my heart. I often prize God’s gifts above God himself. When I have a sinful response because I don’t get those gifts that I desire (of comfort, convenience, fruit from ministry labor, peace and lack of conflict in a relationship, appreciation from others, children that are obedient, saved and mature, etc) I am showing that my heart is not satisfied with the greater gift of Christ alone.

Our Prayer

When we see this about ourselves, we must cry out for joy, because it is a gift from God that only He can give, but that He loves to give in His own timing. We must repent of our unbelief and our sin of treasuring anything above Christ. Then we will find true and lasting joy in Him.

We should pray as the Psalmist did in Psalm 51:12: “Restore to me the joy of my salvation…”
And in Psalm 91:14: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love.”

Our Pursuit

While we wait for God to restore our joy, we must also fight for it!

The fight for joy is a struggle to get to a place where we focus our hearts on Christ, savor the glory of who He is, and be satisfied. We can never afford to let the busyness of a life of ministry, and the difficulties that come along with it, distract us from cherishing Jesus, our all-satisfying treasure.

We must daily return to this sure foundation for our joy: Jesus, our Righteous Judge has become our Merciful Savior! He has paid for all our sin with his own precious blood, and caused us to be born again into the family of God. So we must preach the Gospel to ourselves every day and celebrate all Christ has done for us. Jesus is the Mighty Conqueror over every thing that kills true joy!

Pursuing joy also means that we must put ourselves in the pathway of His blessing.

Don’t neglect his word.

Psalm 19:7,8 says “The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul …The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart.”

The prophet Jeremiah says “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and a delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)

Don’t neglect fellowship.

The Lord never intended for us to be alone and discouraged, but commands all believers to encourage others so that none will have a sinful, unbelieving heart and become deceived and hardened. (Hebrews 3:13) This verse speaks of our responsibility to give and receive encouragement.

Don’t neglect serving.

One of the most common means of rescue in my life is the opportunity to share the word with those around me. Countless times, the Lord has used a Christian book I was reading with my children, or a discipleship meeting, or a book discussion with my Bible study ladies to pull me out of discouragement, and remind me of Christ's promises.

Don’t neglect to give Christ your burdens.

In his book When I Don't Desire God, John Piper says, “The life of joy in God is not a burdened life. It is an unburdened life. The fight for joy is the struggle to trust God with the burdens of life. It’s a fight for freedom from worry. It’s a fight for hope and peace and joy, which are all threatened by unbelief and doubt about God’s promises. “

Our Portion

In Psalm 73:25, 26, we read “Whom have I in heaven but you? And besides you, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.”

When we can say that, then we have found Christ to be more valuable than anything in this world! With that heart, you will be able to see a life of full-time ministry as a life of self-sacrificing love TO YOUR SAVIOR, and not merely to your husband, children, ladies you are discipling, or others. That will bring a life of real and lasting joy! After all, “It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” And He’s “the only God who’s worthy of everything we can give!”

Resource for Parenting

by Myra Shealy

One goal for this blog is to suggest helpful resources to encourage you in your own personal growth, in your family relationships, and in your ministry by your husband's side. For those of you who have children, you have daily opportunities to perform the crucial ministry of loving and training up your children to know the Lord Jesus. As a mother of eight children, I know that at times this task is overwhelming!

Over the years I have been so thankful for resources that helped us gain wisdom for such a huge undertaking as raising children, and find the hope and encouragement that we needed on the difficult days. Also, from a ministry perspective, it is good to be able to help others who are struggling or newer to the task than we are.

Recently, at Community Bible Church in Vallejo, pastor Phil Foley has been teaching a series on parenting. It has been such a beneficial study that I wanted to share it with you. Nine of the sessions have been posted on the CBC website and include these topics:

1. Seeing the Big Picture

2. Our Hope: God's Heart in Glorifying Himself in the Coming Generation

3. The Centrality of the Gospel for Parenting

4. Learning from the Fatherhood of God (Brian Shealy)

5. The Unique Role of the Father

6. The Unique Role of the Mother

7. The Role of the Church in Helping Parents Part 1

8. The Role of the Church in Helping Parents Part 2

9. Proclaiming the Gospel Through Biblical Discipline

Click HERE to go to the page where all these sermons are accessible, or type into your browser:

http://www.cbcvallejo.org/parenting-class-phil-foley

Did you know that there are many other sermons available at the CBC website? You will find Steve Fernandez' sermons there, of course. Also, if you would like more on parenting and family, you should notice that all the sessions from CBC's 2009 Family conference are available. Click HERE to check it out.

May the Lord give us wisdom to train our children up in His ways, and to tell the generation to come the great things He has done.

WHO'S LEADING WHO? Supporting Your Husband's Call to Ministry

by Karen Fernandez

It's been many years since my husband was called by God to preach and teach His Word. The burden God had placed on him was great; and although I did not possess the same burden, I grew to know the significance of my role as the wife of a pastor. I began to see that if I did not bring into submission my ungodly, selfish attitudes, I could have a hand in dismantling his ministry. There is an old adage that says, "behind every successful man is a woman", which the world portrays as the neck turning the head, manipulating it where she would have it to go. But in God's economy, the woman stands alongside her husband, supporting and helping him as his confidant, his counselor, his consoler, his chief bottle washer, and as a co-heir. This is not an inferior position, but an equal counterpart completing her husband -- a position of high honor (I Peter 3:7).

Long ago I had made a choice to accept God's call in my husband's life. This was not easy for me. I felt very inadequate to have to step into that role, and my mind raced with unrealistic expectations that I thought would be placed on me. Did I struggle? Of course! I'm human. Do I still struggle? Thankfully, my times of difficulty now are few and far between, and the struggles are not the same. But, by God's grace and His great faithfulness I am still standing alongside my husband supporting him. God has brought me from a shy, wall flower-type of person, into a woman who can lead and speak, not only to people, but also in front of people. Notice, ladies, I said, "I accepted the call of God in my husband's life." It's your husband's calling to the pastorate. Your calling is to be the helper suitable to your husband and the mother to your children that God has designed you to be. With much chiseling from God through the years, I have found great fulfillment and satisfaction in this role. As in any worthwhile position in life, along with the satisfaction, comes much sacrifice and struggle. Obedience to God doesn't come easy. After all, Eve was the 'mother of us all'. We all still have a particle of that old sinful nature abiding within us which wages war with our new spiritual nature until we get to heaven. Therefore, our attitudes can portray Eve's deceived attitude, instead of emulating Christ's attitude of humility.

When we have the humility of Christ, we are able to acclimate to the lot God has for us in this life. "Consider the work of God; For who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, But in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other." (Eccl. 7:13, 14) Thomas Boston, from his book, 'The Crook in the Lot', said this, "Consider the work of God, namely in the crooked, rough, and the disagreeable parts of thy lot, the crosses thou findest in it. . . .see the doing of God in it, the doing of His hand. Look at that, and consider it well; . . .For who can make that straight which God hath made crooked? As to the crook in thy lot, God hath made it; and it must continue while He will have it so. . . .Only He who made it can mend it, or make it straight." God did not promise that we wouldn't have hardships and trials, but He did promise that He would give us the strength to get through them. (I Corinthians 10:13; II Corinthians 12:9, 10) I have met women through the years that do not want to 'come under God's mighty hand', but have manipulated the situation in order to have their own way, subtly usurping their husband's authority. They had not only begun the dismantling process of their husband's ministry and their marriage, but also the hardening of a heart that has become discontented and embittered. Rather than accepting the lot given them (location, type of ministry, the people in that local church, disobedient children, etc.) like Eve, they are deceived into thinking the apples are better on the other side of the fence. But the apples are filled with rottenness and leave a lasting bitter taste in their mouths.

Over 35 years ago, I recited vows to my husband at the altar; not only to him and before a score of witnesses, but more importantly, before God. The words, 'for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, submitting to him as unto the Lord' are as significant today as they were then. I could add to that Ruth's words to her mother-in-law, "where you go, I will go, where you lodge, I will lodge, your people will be my people. . .". Because I determined years ago to accept my husband's calling as a pastor and to acclimate to whatever lot God had for us, I can look back on the good times as well as the bad times and give God all the praise and glory for His faithfulness. He has kept me from giving in to struggles and adversities which could undermine and dismantle my husband's ministry. God never said that it would be easy, for we share in the sufferings of Christ. (I Peter 4:12, 13) The relationship with my God and Savior, the ministry that He has given us, and our church family supersedes any hardships or heartaches we as a couple have come through. Jesus promised, "Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life." (Luke 18:29, 30) What a wonderful promise. I have seen and am still seeing the fruition of that promise. God has truly given back to us 100+ fold. Whatever sacrifices were made through the years, He has heaped blessings through friends and acquaintances all over the world, a church family who loves us, and children who are His.

Ladies, don't be tempted to listen to the lie, but completely trust God's sovereign control and care in your lives, having a reverent acceptance of His holy will that anticipates the revelation of all its goodness and perfection. Don't take matters into your own hands, but leave them with God. "When we can't trace His hand, we can always trust His heart." C. H. Spurgeon

Karen is married to Steve Fernandez, pastor of Community Bible Church for over 30 years, and president of The Cornerstone Seminary in Vallejo, Ca.

To Encourage You

We are excited to finally get this blog up and running! It has been my desire for a few years now to have a more accessible way of encouraging those of you who are on the field, or ministering some distance away from the campus of The Cornerstone Seminary. Technology is a blessing in many ways, and we are thankful that whether you are across the state, the continent, or on the other side of the globe, you can just click over here and stay connected. Our aim is to provide wisdom from seasoned women and other resources that will help you right where you are, as you deal with the joys and challenges of a life of ministry.

What can you expect here? Well, we would like to share encouragement from the Word, answer some ministry FAQs, keep you updated on events, blessings, and prayer requests at TCS, and let you hear some testimonies from others that have come through our doors and gone out around the world to serve Jesus Christ and see his kingdom expand. Along the way, we also hope to recommend some great books to you that we have found helpful, and share other ideas and tips to help you fulfill your role as a wife, mother, discipler, and Christian woman.

Do you have ideas or topics that you would like to see addressed on this blog? We want to know! Let us know what you have in mind via e-mail at tcswives@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you! -Myra Shealy