Random Chaos or Designed Disorder

by Ginny Anthes

Come into my kitchen and look into a drawer of mine that I consider to be “managed chaos.” It means that I have put things in there that don’t fit in the more ordered drawers, yet I know roughly what is there, and precisely where a few of the often used items are. One drawer like that is fine, but when our life begins to spin out of our control and feels cluttered with items that we don’t remember choosing to put in it, there are two truths we must get a good grip on if we are to experience peace in our lives.

Since the opening chapters of Genesis when Adam and Eve sinned and were sent out of the perfectly ordered garden, into a world of chaos, women have been coping with life that just seems “to come at us.” What is it that robs peace from your heart? In ministry, just when we feel we are exerting some control over our home domain…bam! That brings us to the first truth: Our God reigns! “And he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth.” (Dan. 4:35) Does that mean when you are sitting in Intensive Care with a deathly sick or injured child, that God is ruling and ordering your life at that moment? When peace has descended on your home in the evening and the knock comes at your door, or the phone rings…you know something out of your control has happened. There was a period of time in my life when all the following were happening simultaneously. My father came for a short visit, but ended up with heart surgery, that went awry, making him a total invalid. Half of my house was torn off for a remodel, our church of fifteen years was exerting tremendous pressure on us, all of my children were living at home and with little sleep or energy, I felt that I was going from one crisis to the next, day after day, week after week. The Lord reminded me that I was to welcome these trials as friends, and by his grace, I set my heart to do that. Day after day, he sustained me and gave me joy, and peace, that were not mine.

That brings us to the second truth that we must anchor our souls to: The Spirit Produces Peace. In I Cor. 6:19-20 Paul tells us that our “body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.” In Gal. 5:22 we read that his fruit, among others, is peace. God’s gracious provision for us in Christ is the Holy Spirit who lives in us, reminding us of the truth that Christ is sufficient for all our needs, and it is he who produces peace. When life becomes difficult, fix your mind quickly on the truth that our all wise, sovereign, loving God is directing your path. Turn you heart and mind and spirit towards him with dependence on his Spirit to give you peace. While I never go looking for trouble, when God directs it my way, I realize it is an amazing opportunity to glorify him, demonstrating to the world, that in the midst of the storms of life, Jesus Christ is sufficient. Jesus himself has gone before us, taking each insult, each lash on his back, each nail in the palm, knowing from eternity that it was his Father’s will for him. Let us learn to trust and depend on our gracious Father who loved us enough to design such a life for his beloved Son.

Ginny is married to Paul Anthes, who is pastor of Community Bible Church of Placerville, Ca., and a graduate of The Cornerstone Seminary.

"The Believer's Sweet Pillow"

by Karen Fernandez

Every once in a while, God brings a person into my life that is a bruised reed. I know from experience that, “A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoking flax He will not quench. . .” (Isaiah 42:3), but He will restore and revive. The truth that He is sovereign, completely in control of every facet of my life, brings me great comfort and confidence in the future, knowing that He is working everything out for my good and ultimately, for His glory. I can think of nothing more comforting than laying my heart on the promise and truth that God's sovereign goodness is working behind the scenes of my life---the One who is all-powerful, all-knowing, everywhere, and all-sufficient. Spurgeon calls God's providence “the believer's sweet pillow”.

The writings of C. H. Spurgeon are the most picturesque, vivid imagery that the Christian world has been blessed with. I trust that the quote below will encourage and comfort your hearts:

" Christian! There is no sweeter pillow than providence! And when providence seems adverse, believe it still, and lay it under your head. For depend upon it—there is comfort in its bosom...How sweet is 'providence' to a child of God, when he can reflect upon it. He can look out into this world, and say--”However great my troubles, they are not so great as my Father's power. However difficult may be my circumstances, yet all things around me are working together for good.” He who guides the stars in the well-ordered courses, even when they seem to move in hazy dances—surely he can overrule my trials in such a way that out of confusion he will bring order; and from seeming evil, produce lasting good. He who bridles the storm, and puts the bit in the mouth of the tempest, surely he can restrain my trial, and keep my sorrows in subjection.

I believe that every particle of dust that dances in the sunbeam does not move an atom more or less than God wishes; that every particle of spray that dashes against the steamboat has its orbit as well as the sun in the heavens; that the chaff from the hand of the winnower is steered as surely as the stars in their courses; and the fall of leaves from the tree is as fully ordained as the tumbling avalanche.

He who believes in God must believe this truth. There is no standing point between this and atheism. There is no halfway between an Almighty God, who works all things according to the good pleasure of his will, and no God at all!”

Karen is married to Steve Fernandez, pastor of Community Bible Church for over 30 years, and president of The Cornerstone Seminary in Vallejo, Ca.

Helping Those Who are Hurting

by Judy Achilles

Q: I’m fearful that I’ll say or do something wrong in trying to comfort those that experience great loss, (death, cancer, etc.) What should I do or not do when someone is hurting?

A: I learned a long time ago to pray for compassion. It is the character trait of great empathy, deep emotional tenderness to another persons’ suffering, along with a desire to relieve that suffering. Be assured that God will answer your prayer as He did mine. Romans 5:5 already affirms that the “love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” So we pray God will actively be demonstrating His love and compassion through us. It is not so much what we say with words; it is our eagerness to provide immediate help. We bring everything from hugs of affirming love to tissues we have placed in our pocket ready for tears we will share together. We bring listening ears that discern the immediate needs, and kind assurance that we will be there as long as needed.

Our anguish comes when we choose to do nothing.

The attitude of compassion is God’s gift for all—lost neighbors, relatives, and those saved whether family or members of the congregation. Be like the Good Samaritan who ministered to the immediate needs first, and extended his compassion with encouragement and long term support. Sometimes “words” usually fall on ears that do not yet have the ability to clearly listen. So many extreme situations—death, cancer, miscarried babies, too many to list!—become like Israel facing the Red Sea. People become full of anger, disappointment, fear and unbelief. And we can’t change it or “fix it!” I know I can’t “part” the Red Sea. But God can! And I have the privilege of compassionately holding their hands as we walk through their “Red Sea” on dry ground together. In time there will be obvious opportunities to share Scripture for comfort, courage, understanding, and in some cases salvation. But the immediate need is to hold tightly to a shattered heart.

My husband was home with me following my surgery for ovarian cancer, and I was in the midst of chemotherapy. He was really not well himself, and I never wanted to bother him with little things. My “Good Samaritans” from church sensed I needed a little assistance. So a couple of gals sat on my couch and just asked “What do you need?” My toenails and fingernails desperately needed trimming, and I didn’t have the strength to use nail clippers; the few remaining strands of hair on my head were not enough to cover anything, and I yearned for lotion on my back…a place I just couldn’t reach! Following a complete nail job, shaved head, styling of my new wig, and an ample supply of lotion, we had a sweet time of prayer, and I thanked God for their compassion and love so freely given to me.

As the pastor’s wife you will be assisting your husband in extending compassion to many families in your community and church. You may desire to stay more intimately connected if it is a woman who is in need of help and especially one involved in your congregation. You can organize a compassion ministry and have a discussion on what were the most effective demonstrations of compassion that touched their lives when they were in time of great need. It is not the words, but the fact you were there ministering the “little things” on their journey through the “Red Sea”.

-Judy and her husband Bob Achilles shared a life of ministry together in the church before he went home to be with the Lord in 2008. He was a pastor, seminary professor, and made many trips overseas to train men in Russia. She continues to serve the Lord at Grace Church of Napa, enjoys teaching and counseling women, and speaking at women's conferences.

Training Children for the Long Haul

by Myra Shealy

Years ago, when we only had small children, I remember complaining to my husband after a particularly rough day. My entire day had been spent dealing with our children's disobedience and I was worn out and frustrated. He listened patiently, then put his arm around me and congratulated me for spending my day wisely! Then he reminded me that we were in this for the long haul, and to be patient and not give up.

When the Bible says "train" up a child, we need to make sure we realize what train means. It means practicing over and over against resistance until something becomes part of your nature. That is what God is calling us to do with our children. It will not be accomplished in a day, or a month, or a year, but is something you must engage in until your children leave your home and enter the adult world. Now, it is reasonable to long to see some fruit from your labors before they leave, but just keep in mind that it is a long process. I know that many times today, even after many years of being a mom, I still feel overwhelmed and exhausted and discouraged, but now I am enjoying fruit in my older children that the Lord is producing in their lives, and I wouldn't trade that for any less stressful, or more restful, or irritation-free life. It is worth everything we go through!

Also, remember why we do what we do. We are giving our lives away to train and love these children all day long because it is what God commands us to do, not because of the fruit we see in their lives. I've had some moms say that they gave up on training their kids because it didn't work. But the Lord doesn't give us that out. We are to keep on obeying Him and leave the fruit production in His hands. He will grant fruit whenever He deems best, and we have to continue on in faith and trust Him. Work as if it all depends on you, but PRAY for your children, remembering that ultimately it all depends on His work in their hearts. You have every reason to expect fruit, though, because He says that His Word will not return to Him void, but will accomplish His purpose. (Isaiah 55:11) Keep giving your children His Word, and keep striving to obey it yourself. God doesn't usually give a divine zap out of nowhere to change the hearts of people. He uses His Word, and people who bring His Word to needy hearts. He wants to use you.

Let's say you are faithful to this task until your children reach adulthood, and then they openly rebel and reject everything you have tried to impart to them. Was it still the right thing to do? I say absolutely YES! You will have a clear conscience that you tried to obey the Lord, and you will have gained great sanctification along the way. Also your children will have been given the keys to abundant life here and eternal life afterward. Keep pressing on!

Q and A

Q: With the instant availability of internet pornography, and countless stories of pastors who fall into sexual sin, what can we wives do to help our husbands remain pure and stand against sexual temptation?


A: Helping your husband starts with prayer. First, pray that his heart would be so captivated by the gracious love and mercy that the Savior has shown him, and His worthiness to be worshiped and treasured above all things, that he would have his eyes and heart full of Christ and live satisfied in Him. Second, pray that your husband would have the wisdom and discernment to be able to see sin for what it is: deceitful and deadly. Sin promises pleasure, but what it delivers is momentary, fleeting, empty, and destructive. Ask God to give him a sober mind to be on the alert against the enemy, who loves to take men out of useful ministry. Also ask God to keep teaching him to rely moment by moment on the power of the Holy Spirit to say "no" to sexual temptation, and "yes" to a life of purity and contentment in Christ alone.


Helping your husband also means working hard to be the wife he longs to come home to. The days get so busy, and it would be easy to neglect your marriage because of the onslaught of all the urgent and necessary things that happen in a day. But it is important to cultivate a loving relationship. Admire him, speak words of praise for his good qualities, and encourage him. Be effusive in expressing your love for him, not only through your words, but with your body language and physical affection. Let him find in your arms a welcoming comfort from the troubles of this world, and the difficulties of ministry. Also, take time to keep yourself attractive for your husband, even giving consideration to his preferences about such things as your clothing and hair. Work hard to make your body strong, healthy, and fit.


It is also important to think Biblically about the sexual relationship as God designed it. If you are married, you are living in the one scenario in which God not only intended sex to be enjoyed, but also commands that it not be neglected, as it is His gift for your intimate joy together. God wants your body to be a gift that you willingly present to your husband. To deprive him of this puts him in a position to be tempted. (1 Cor. 7:5) Do you think about physical intimacy with your husband in this way? Desire your husband and let him know it. Plan times to be alone together. Save some energy for him at the end of the day. Resolve conflicts quickly and don't take them into your bedroom, or punish him by withholding affection when there has been a disagreement.


One pastor who fell to sexual sin said that his wife at home was always critical, complaining, and unhappy, but the woman he counseled (and with whom he fell into sin) was attractive, encouraging, kind, and intentional in her appreciation of him. While that man is completely accountable to God for his own sin, his wife also bears a responsibility for the way she treated him. Don't neglect the power you hold to make a refuge of love at home for your husband.


One other way to help your husband be protected from sexual temptation on the internet is to suggest practical resources. Click the links below to find free software to block objectionable sites on your computer, and to provide accountability.


X3watch (free)


K9 Web Protection (free)


-Myra Shealy

Fighting for Joy in Ministry

by Myra Shealy
There are some unique challenges that come with being married to a man devoted to full-time ministry. Maybe you have experienced some of these:

The workload and burdens of ministry are often great, and we may feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The resistance/conflict with the objects of our ministry and our ministry partners can sometimes be draining. Our godly counsel may be ignored by those we are trying to help, and they instead make decisions that have serious negative consequences. We lack wisdom to help our people straighten out the mess that sin has made in their lives. Plus we have our own set of problems with sin and weakness, the struggles with relationships in our own families, and trials that come into our lives.

Sometimes we are tempted to respond to those pressures in a wrong way. In our pride, we operate in our own strength. We neglect the means of grace that God intended for our strength in Him, (the word, fellowship, prayer). We forget that we have a personal enemy roaming about seeking our destruction. We forget to arm ourselves for spiritual battle. We forget there even is a battle and that we are already in it. We look back at the past and complain. We look forward to the future and worry. We may even begin to blame others or punish those around us for our discouragement and struggle.

These challenges, and our wrong responses to all the dificulties of life and ministry, can strip us of our joy in Christ.

Our Problem

What is at the heart of our struggle?

Listen to the words of Hebrews 3:13: “Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

While this passage primarily calls us to our responsibility toward other believers, notice how it sets unbelief as the opposite of being encouraged. To have a sinful, unbelieving heart can result in a hardened, deceived heart. How does unbelief manifest itself?

John Piper says, “…all sins come from unbelief in the promises of God. All the sinful states of our hearts are owing to unbelief in God's super-abounding willingness and ability to work for us in every situation of life so that everything turns out for our good. Anxiety …indifference, regret, covetousness, envy, lust, bitterness, impatience, despondency, pride—these are all sprouts from the root of unbelief in the promises of God.”

In our despair we choose to not believe His promises like:

2 Corinthians 12:8: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Matthew 28:20b: “...I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (speaking of basic needs like food, clothing, etc)

Isaiah 41:10: “'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

And, Isaiah 55:11: “So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

My lack of joy usually shows me one other thing about my heart. I often prize God’s gifts above God himself. When I have a sinful response because I don’t get those gifts that I desire (of comfort, convenience, fruit from ministry labor, peace and lack of conflict in a relationship, appreciation from others, children that are obedient, saved and mature, etc) I am showing that my heart is not satisfied with the greater gift of Christ alone.

Our Prayer

When we see this about ourselves, we must cry out for joy, because it is a gift from God that only He can give, but that He loves to give in His own timing. We must repent of our unbelief and our sin of treasuring anything above Christ. Then we will find true and lasting joy in Him.

We should pray as the Psalmist did in Psalm 51:12: “Restore to me the joy of my salvation…”
And in Psalm 91:14: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love.”

Our Pursuit

While we wait for God to restore our joy, we must also fight for it!

The fight for joy is a struggle to get to a place where we focus our hearts on Christ, savor the glory of who He is, and be satisfied. We can never afford to let the busyness of a life of ministry, and the difficulties that come along with it, distract us from cherishing Jesus, our all-satisfying treasure.

We must daily return to this sure foundation for our joy: Jesus, our Righteous Judge has become our Merciful Savior! He has paid for all our sin with his own precious blood, and caused us to be born again into the family of God. So we must preach the Gospel to ourselves every day and celebrate all Christ has done for us. Jesus is the Mighty Conqueror over every thing that kills true joy!

Pursuing joy also means that we must put ourselves in the pathway of His blessing.

Don’t neglect his word.

Psalm 19:7,8 says “The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul …The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart.”

The prophet Jeremiah says “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and a delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)

Don’t neglect fellowship.

The Lord never intended for us to be alone and discouraged, but commands all believers to encourage others so that none will have a sinful, unbelieving heart and become deceived and hardened. (Hebrews 3:13) This verse speaks of our responsibility to give and receive encouragement.

Don’t neglect serving.

One of the most common means of rescue in my life is the opportunity to share the word with those around me. Countless times, the Lord has used a Christian book I was reading with my children, or a discipleship meeting, or a book discussion with my Bible study ladies to pull me out of discouragement, and remind me of Christ's promises.

Don’t neglect to give Christ your burdens.

In his book When I Don't Desire God, John Piper says, “The life of joy in God is not a burdened life. It is an unburdened life. The fight for joy is the struggle to trust God with the burdens of life. It’s a fight for freedom from worry. It’s a fight for hope and peace and joy, which are all threatened by unbelief and doubt about God’s promises. “

Our Portion

In Psalm 73:25, 26, we read “Whom have I in heaven but you? And besides you, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.”

When we can say that, then we have found Christ to be more valuable than anything in this world! With that heart, you will be able to see a life of full-time ministry as a life of self-sacrificing love TO YOUR SAVIOR, and not merely to your husband, children, ladies you are discipling, or others. That will bring a life of real and lasting joy! After all, “It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” And He’s “the only God who’s worthy of everything we can give!”

Resource for Parenting

by Myra Shealy

One goal for this blog is to suggest helpful resources to encourage you in your own personal growth, in your family relationships, and in your ministry by your husband's side. For those of you who have children, you have daily opportunities to perform the crucial ministry of loving and training up your children to know the Lord Jesus. As a mother of eight children, I know that at times this task is overwhelming!

Over the years I have been so thankful for resources that helped us gain wisdom for such a huge undertaking as raising children, and find the hope and encouragement that we needed on the difficult days. Also, from a ministry perspective, it is good to be able to help others who are struggling or newer to the task than we are.

Recently, at Community Bible Church in Vallejo, pastor Phil Foley has been teaching a series on parenting. It has been such a beneficial study that I wanted to share it with you. Nine of the sessions have been posted on the CBC website and include these topics:

1. Seeing the Big Picture

2. Our Hope: God's Heart in Glorifying Himself in the Coming Generation

3. The Centrality of the Gospel for Parenting

4. Learning from the Fatherhood of God (Brian Shealy)

5. The Unique Role of the Father

6. The Unique Role of the Mother

7. The Role of the Church in Helping Parents Part 1

8. The Role of the Church in Helping Parents Part 2

9. Proclaiming the Gospel Through Biblical Discipline

Click HERE to go to the page where all these sermons are accessible, or type into your browser:

http://www.cbcvallejo.org/parenting-class-phil-foley

Did you know that there are many other sermons available at the CBC website? You will find Steve Fernandez' sermons there, of course. Also, if you would like more on parenting and family, you should notice that all the sessions from CBC's 2009 Family conference are available. Click HERE to check it out.

May the Lord give us wisdom to train our children up in His ways, and to tell the generation to come the great things He has done.